The Houseplant Song

D Once I read a book F And this is what it said G If your music has a beat D Then you're gonna wind up dead F It doesn't really matter if it's Christian or not G D If it's syncopated rhythm then your soul is gonna rot D F And this book was called ‘Ha You're Gonna Burn G D And in the second chapter I went on to learn - D F Taske two houseplants G D And put them to the test F Set them both in front of speakers G D And let the music do the rest F The first one you play Mozart G D Or something lovelqy like that F G The second one you play that Petra Or that MegaDeth. Doesn't really matter what kind of rock it is. - D F So I took my two houseplants G D And I put them to the test F Set them both in front of speakers G D To let the music do the rest F I powered up my Pioneers G D To let the music roar D F But twenty minutes later G D Someone's knocking at my door D I opened up my door F And there my neighbor stood G He said, Man I'd like to get some sleep D If you think I could - D F I said, Man, can't you see here G D I've got this moral dilemma that I got to get clear D He said, What kind of moral dilemma F Could you have at this time of night G That could make me so angry D That I just want to fight - D F So I pointed to the page in that open book G That had a picture of a potted plant D And I said, Go have a look And he read - D F Take two houseplants G D And put them to the test F Set them both in front of speakers G D And let the music do the rest F The first one you play Mozart G D Or something lovely like that F G The second one you play that Petra Or that MegaDeth. Doesn't really matter what kind of rock it is. - D First of all he said, F That's Vager that you're playing G I've never heard of Petra D And isn't megaDeth all dead - D F G And secondly, emphatically, He asked me, F "What's the sense of hanging out with houseplants when, hey, G D I live right across the fence And I thought to myself You know, that's a good point D F So I took my two houseplants, and G D I put them both back outside D F And me and my neighbor G D Well, we went out for a drive - D We talked about all the things F That really matter most G Like life and love and happiness D And then the Holy Ghost - D F And now my two houseplants G D They sit out in the sun D F But as for my neighbor G D Well our friendship has become D F A meaningful relationship G D That's headed straight to heavenn D But as for now F G We like to sit around and listen to Audio Adrenaline D Cranked to eleven!